The Report

Well I got a phone call tonight from Dixon, I mean Mr. Hill. He’s gotten enough information on what’s going on between Joe and Amin that he can give me the report now. He’s coming around soon and in the meantime I just get to sit here and think. Think about that kiss. Think about what he might say about the kiss. Think about what’s in his report. Think about… Oh shut up, woman! I really shouldn’t think so much.


Just as he arrived the phone rang so I quickly introduced Dixon to Arcadia and dashed off to answer the phone. As it happens, it was Joe on the other end of the line. I told him I was a little busy right now but could he come over in about half an hour.
“Sure thing, babe.” Ugh! I hate being called “babe”.


In the meantime, Dixon has settled down on the couch and is waiting for me. He’s looking at me strangely and I can’t help wondering what he’s thinking about. Arcadia had planned to discreetly go off to her room (previously Timothy’s room) to read but I chicken out and wave her over to join us.


There’s an awkward silence for a moment and then I start talking. Naturally, the first thing I do is to babble an apology about the other night and the whole kiss thing. Good one, Aneleh. Real smooth. Arcadia looks baffled and then gives me her patented “you’ll be explaining about that later” look. Dixon… well, Dixon’s face falls a little and he just mumbles a “sure, no problem” then pulls out a folder filled with notes and photos.


He starts passing the photos around and telling us about everything that he discovered. I noticed that he’d turned slightly so that he seemed to mostly be talking to Arcadia. Oh damn, I think I hurt his feelings. Wait… I hurt his feelings? Meaning he had feelings about the kiss? Wow, that’s really… Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be listening to the report.


Dixon finished up and then excused himself to grab a cup of that coffee. Arcadia seems more stunned than I am about the news that Amin and Joe actually had an arrangement and that Joe is now blackmailing Amin.

“So you really were set up to have your marriage broken up, Aneleh! I’m glad we know, now we can deal with Joe and tell him not to darken this doorstep again. Aneleh? Uh… Aneleh?”

“Oh! Yeah, Arcadia. It explains everything. By the way did I mention…” The doorbell chimes. “… oh yeah, did I mention that Joe is coming over? I wanted to talk to him about whatever Dixon, uh... Mr. Hill, found out about him.”


“Hey, babe! You havin’ a party? Cos if you are, I’ve got some great…” He has to stop his sentence because I’m currently slapping him around the face. My focus is right back where it's supposed to be and I'm furious.

“Ow! What’s with the slapping?”

“You lying scum! You had a deal with Amin didn’t you? Break up my marriage, get some cash, get some new stuff for your bubble blowing addiction right? Isn’t that how it went?”


“Hey, woah! How did you find out? I mean, where did you hear that?”

“Huh! So it’s true then? And this is how I found out!” I step back and gesture at Dixon. “Joe Carr, meet Dixon Hill. Dixon is a Private Investigator who enjoys helping a lady in distress and photographing lying scumbags. Dixon, may I introduce Joe Carr, my ex-boyfriend (now twice). Joe is one of the afore-mentioned lying scumbags and a bubble-blowing addict.”

I notice Arcadia making thumbs-up gestures behind Joe’s back but decide to ignore it. Now that he’s actually standing here in front of me I’m definitely finding that I’m more angry than I was earlier when all I could do was think about Dixon and my stupid apology and his lips and that scruffy look he has going for him and… uh, focus Aneleh!


Joe’s still reeling from the slap (or slaps!) I gave him but now he reels in Dixon's general direction.

“You’re a Private Dick?” Joe snickers a little. “So how much you get paid to be one of those private dick things, buddy? Sounds like nice work if you can get it!” Dixon and I just glare at him and Joe starts to look a little nervous.

“Hey, let’s just chill out a little huh? You couldn’t possibly have any proof! Aneleh, are you going to believe this Private Thingy over me? I’ve loved you all those years while you were with that jerk Amin and if you think I’m going to be hanging out with that loser after how he beat me up then well... you… uhh…” Joe stops because Dixon has thrown the photos at him. He glances through them, turns a little pale then looks angry.

“Ahh well… you were lousy in bed anyway! No wonder Amin’s married to that Cara chick now. I hear she’s really something.”


I just stand there doing a fabulous impression of a stunned mullet. Married? Amin got remarried? As far as I know he hasn’t even told Timothy. A thousand questions are flying through my head but fortunately I don’t have to do anything at the moment since Dixon has taken over for me. Joe is grabbed and thrown out the door for his first flying lesson. When I thought to look out the door he didn’t seem to be doing so well at it.


By the time Dixon comes back inside everything has hit me all at once and I realise what a mess my life has been. Married to a man who didn’t actually want me, taking Joe as a lover, ignoring everything in my drive to reach the top of my career. About the only thing I’ve done right must be Timothy. So far I haven’t managed to mess that up and I get the horrible feeling that that’s only a fluke.


The next thing I know there are strong arms around me holding me tight and I’m crying all over Dixon’s leather jacket. I don’t ever want him to let go but too soon he’s saying something about a promise he made to his daughter to help her with her homework and he’s gone.

I mumble something at Arcadia and head straight for bed and sleep like a log. There’s nothing like a million emotions in the space of an hour to make a girl fall right off to sleep.


The next morning Arcadia sees my kind of down face and slaps me on the arm heartily.

“Cheer up, my friend,” she says. “It’s all working out for the best. Now you can forget all about Amin and that other scumbag who shall not be named and move on with your life. It’s all going to work out for you, you know.”

I smile weakly. “I guess, Arcadia. It’s just a little depressing to discover how incredibly clueless I really am.”

“Bah! Who isn’t clueless when it comes to men? Now, speaking of men, what’s this about kissing that dishy Private Investigator?” It figures that it was too much to hope that she’d forgotten about that.

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